Cooperative Parenting

On This Page

More than one million children each year are affected by divorce and family separation. Half of these children will be raised in families where parents remain in conflict. These parents engaged in ongoing litigation over their children for years. Children raised in an atmosphere of unrelenting conflict are four to five times as likely to grow-up with serious emotional and behavioral difficulties. Not only are high-conflict cases damaging to innocent children, they require an inordinate amount of court time and mental health services. Consequently, high-conflict divorces pose grave concerns for mental health and legal professionals. In order to minimize the adverse effects of divorce on children and families, many parents have been ordered to work with a parent coordinator.

Parenting Coordination is a profession designed to assist parents establish and maintain a healthy relationship by reducing parental conflict and the risk factors that influence a child’s post-divorce adjustment. It is an extensive service intended for trained psychotherapist to use in collaboration with the courts. Through education, mediation and case management, the family’s progress is monitored to ensure that parents are fulfilling their obligations to their child while complying with the recommendations of the court. The role of the parent coordinator is determined by the authority granted in the court order.

Qualifications and Responsibilities

Qualifications include training and experience in the following different disciplines: 1) family systems theory, 2) adult psychotherapy, 3) developmental psychology, 4) divorce recovery, 5) children's adjustment issues specific to divorce, 6) conflict resolution, 7) mediation techniques, 8) communication theory, 9) legal aspects of divorce, and 10) domestic violence 11) psychotherapeutic interventions used in the Cooperative Parenting Institute Model of parenting coordination.

The role of the parent coordinator is to assist both parents and any significant others resolve conflict in a manner that is beneficial to their child(ren). The parent coordinator has the following responsibilities:

Educational Responsibilities

Educates parents regarding the impact of parental conflict on the child's development.
Teaches parents anger management, communication and negotiation skills and children's issues in divorce.
Explains the concepts highlighted in the Cooperative Parenting and Divorce: A Parent Guide to Effective Co-Parenting.

Parenting Assistance

Assists parents in shifting their role from former spouses to co-parents.
Reduces emotional attachment to the marital relationship.
Helps parents identify their contribution to conflict while increasing impulse control.
Identifies the impasses to effective communication and designs interventions to overcome these impasses.
Distinguishes and reduces the behaviors characteristics of parent alienation.
Recognizes the therapeutic needs of the family members and makes the appropriate referrals.
Assesses the emotional impact of parental behaviors on the child.

Monitoring Responsibilities

Advocates for and safeguards the emotional and physical needs of the child.
Monitors time sharing arrangement and, when necessary, temporarily modifies these plans as a means of reducing inter-parental conflict.
Ensures that both parents maintain an ongoing relationship with their child.
Observes parenting effectiveness.
Records and monitors family progress and compliance.

Mediation Responsibilities

Mediates parenting concerns in order to reach a consensus.
Works with parents in developing a detailed plan for issues such as time sharing, discipline, decisions-making procedures, extracurricular activities and communication.

Unless otherwise indicated by the court order or guardian recommendation, the parenting coordinator assumes the responsibilities outlined above. The parenting coordinator has full discretion regarding program implementation including but not limited to modification of time sharing plans (visitation) as well as recommending addition educational and/or therapeutic resources, evaluations and therapeutic or supervised visitation. It is understood that the parent coordinator cannot change overall time sharing or the legal custody status of the children.

Back to Top of Page

Benefits

Parenting Coordination benefits divorcing or divorced parents by:

Assisting parents shift their role from former spouses to co-parents.
Educating parents regarding the impact of parental conflict on their child's development.
Helping parents identify their contribution to conflict while increasing impulse control.
Teaching parents anger management, communication and conflict resolution skills, and children's issues in divorce.
Ensuring execution of the residence and living arrangements specified in the divorce decree or temporary orders.
Monitoring visitation and modifying time-sharing arrangements as a means of reducing parental conflict.
Working with parents in developing a detailed cooperative parenting plan for issues such as living arrangements, discipline, holidays and communication.

Parenting Coordination benefits children by:

Reducing the child's symptoms of stress as parental conflict decreases.
Diminishing the child's sense of loyalty binds.
Creating a more relaxed home atmosphere allowing the child to adjust more effectively.
Teaching effective communication and conflict resolution skills as modeled by their parents.
Increasing the likelihood of keeping two active parents in the child's life.
Ensuring the child's safety through open parental communication.
Enhancing the child's confidence and self-esteem by creating an optimal environment for growth.
Diminishing the likelihood of future relationship difficulties and divorce in the child's future.
Reducing the possibility of adolescent drug and alcohol problems, teenage pregnancy, school drop-out rates, and crime associated with children of divorce.

Back to Top of Page

Parenting Coordination vs Co-Parent Counseling

	Parent Coordinator	Co-Parent Counselor
The service is generally provided by a licensed psychotherapist	YES	YES
The process educates parents on the impact of conflict on their child	YES	YES
It is considered a form of psychotherapy	NO	YES
It is considered a confidential process	NO	YES
Parents are considered the "clients"	NO	YES
Parents may fire provider at any point without feedback to attorneys	NO	YES
Requires an official appointment	YES	NO
Requires specialized training	YES	NO
Provider will be available to the families for child focused emergencies 24/7	YES	NO
Provider may coordinate with all other professionals involved	YES	NO
Provider monitors parental behaviors	YES	NO
Provider monitors compliance with court order/settlement agreeement	YES	NO
Provider ensures parental access to the child	YES	NO
Provider may investigate parental allegations	YES	NO
Provider may have authority to require outside services	YES	NO
Provider may have authority to make temporary minor adjustments	YES	NO
Provider may or may not have authority to temporarily arbitrate parental impasses	YES	NO
Provider may report non compliance to both attorneys	YES	NO
When ordered to do so, provider may send final report to the court/attorneys	YES	NO
Provider may do home visits if applicable	YES	NO
Provider assists parents in creating a parenting plan (pre or post divorce)	YES	NO
Process uses educational materials	YES	NO
Provider may testify in the child's best interest	YES	NO
Process requires parents to return in the future prior to re-litigating	YES	NO
Provider works as an advocate for the child	YES	MAY
Process includes significant others as needed	YES	MAY
Process uses mediation skills to resolve parental disputes	YES	MAY
Provider teaches conflict resolution skills to participants	YES	MAY
The process keeps parents accountable	YES	NO

Back to Top of Page

Standards of Practice for Parenting Coordination

The Cooperative Parenting Institute developed the following standards of practice as part of the CPI Training Model.

Standard I. Ethical Services

A parent coordinator shall provide ethical and professional services to families in transition. He or she shall uphold this commitment by maintaining practices that reduce parental conflict, minimize stress for the children, and encourage families, whenever possible, to resolve their own parenting issues without litigation. The parent coordinator shall also clarify his or her role and responsibilities by obtaining a copy of the court order or settlement agreement prior to offering any services to the family.

Standard II. Clarification of Role

A parent coordinator must clarify and explain the difference between the role and responsibilities of a parent coordinator and other overlapping roles such as a psychotherapist, mediator, and guardian ad litem. A parent coordinator shall ensure that parents understand, prior to each joint session that parenting coordination is not considered psychotherapy.

A parent coordinator shall strictly adhere to the role and responsibilities of a parent coordinator as outlined in the order or stipulation of the parties. They shall protect the family's rights and not overstep any authority granted through a court order, stipulation, or settlement agreement. In addition, a parent coordinator shall never make any permanent changes to a court order or settlement agreement without written permission from both parents. Any written change agreed upon by both parents shall be forwarded to the attorneys and guardian ad litem as soon as possible.

Standard III. Child Advocate

A parent coordinator shall remain "child focused" and encourage both parents to do the same. He or she shall, to the greatest extent possible, ensure that the child(ren) is shielded from parental conflict, loyalty binds, and any other unnecessary stress. Whenever possible, a coordinator shall promote the active participation of both parents in the life of their child(ren).

A parent coordinator shall assist parents to make informed decisions to promote the best interests of their child(ren). A parent coordinator shall utilize effective mediation skills and creative problem-solving skills. All mutually agreed upon changes shall be initialed by both parents and included in the final parenting plan.

Standard IV. Impartiality

A parent coordinator shall remain impartial and stay aware of any biases, values, and/or professional issues that may interfere with his or her ability to perform the responsibilities of an effective parent coordinator. If the coordinator is unable to remain impartial, for any reason, he or she shall take the necessary steps to assign a new coordinator. In order to provide continuity of care, the coordinator shall provide a consultation with the new coordinator prior to transferring the case.

Standard V. Conflict of Interest

A parent coordinator shall disclose any actual or potential conflicts of interest as soon as this information is made known to the coordinator.

Standard VI. Confidentiality

A parent coordinator shall ensure confidentially to the extent that it is defined in the court order or stipulation. He or she shall remind both parents that any form of mediation performed by a parent coordinator is not a confidential process since memos may be sent to attorneys and the court may request information regarding both parents. A parent coordinator shall maintain confidentiality with regard to storage and disposal of records. A parent coordinator shall speak to attorneys regarding only their own client and/or the coordination process.

Standard VII. Informed Consent

A parent coordinator shall provide each participant with a copy of an informed consent form in accordance with the Health Information Privacy Act. Since parenting coordination is not considered psychotherapy, a written document shall also be provided that clarifies the limitations of the informed consent as it applies specifically to parenting coordination.

A parent coordinator shall function as a mandated reporter. He or she shall provide parents with a copy of office policies prior to the first joint session addressing guidelines on mandated reporting.

Standard VIII. Encouraging Parental Independence

A parent coordinator shall encourage parents to make informed decisions regarding all child-rearing matters and avoid any impulsive or premature resolutions. A parent coordinator shall use caucus-style negotiations when attempting to reach agreements whenever an imbalance of power may exist between the parents. If the parents reach an impasse, a coordinator shall not prolong unproductive sessions that would result in emotional and monetary costs to either parent.

As soon as ongoing sessions are no longer necessary, a parent coordinator shall modify the frequency and intensity of his or her involvement with the family and change the status of the parents' participation to an as-needed basis. A parent coordinator shall not encourage parents to become dependent on the process of parenting coordination. He or she shall not create a situation in which the parents will become dependent on the parent coordinator's guidance. A coordinator shall promote parental authority when appropriate, as well as parental decision making.

Standard IX. Appropriate Referrals

A parent coordinator shall make appropriate referrals on behalf of the parents for additional services as needed and be able to justify the reasoning behind any referral. He or she shall never make a referral to any professional through which he or she could profit in some manner.

A parent coordinator shall meet with the child(ren) only as necessary to enhance the process of parenting coordination. If the child(ren) is in need of ongoing therapeutic services, a coordinator shall make an appropriate referral and ensure that the proper releases are signed in order to communicate with the child's therapist. Likewise, if the child(ren) are already involved in treatment, a coordinator shall obtain the proper releases and consult with the child(ren)'s therapist to ensure continuity of care.

Standard X. Coordination of Services

A parent coordinator shall keep in close contact with other professionals working with the family in order to ensure continuity of care. He or she shall ensure that the proper releases have been obtained prior to consulting with professionals.

If a guardian has been assigned for the child(ren), a parent coordinator shall establish and maintain contact with the guardian. He or she shall keep the guardian informed of the family's progress and shall contact the guardian immediately in situations deemed serious emergencies. Prior to making any "temporary" modifications to the existing court order or settlement agreements, a parent coordinator shall consult with the guardian.

Standard XI. Ex parte Communication

A parent coordinator shall not engage in ex parte communication with the judge by telephone, e-mail, fax, or in person.

A parent coordinator shall prepare and send written updates to both attorneys and the guardian regarding any noncompliance exhibited by either parent. Only when required by the court order shall a coordinator send a copy of the document to the judge.

Standard XII. Temporary Modification

A parent coordinator shall document a rational justification for any temporary modification or recommendation. He or she shall recognize that the overall purpose of any change or directive shall be for the purpose of shielding the child(ren) from unnecessary conflict or stress. A parent coordinator shall reevaluate each modification at the end of a specified period of time. Temporary changes shall not be used as a negative consequence or sanction against one parent for inappropriate behaviors. If a temporary recommendation impacts the amount of time with one parent, arrangements shall be made to correct this as soon as possible so as not to reduce parent-child contact.

Standard XIII. Emergency Services

A parent coordinator shall be available to the family for child-focused emergencies, twenty-four hours a day. If the coordinator is out of town, he or she shall ensure that adequate twenty-four-hour services are available during the absence.

A parent coordinator shall immediately notify the other professionals involved with the family when an emergency situation is inevitable and the child(ren) may be physical or severe emotional risk, to determine if an emergency hearing is warranted.

Standard XIV. Safety

A parent coordinator shall take reasonable safety precautions when domestic violence is suspected or documented.

Standard XV. Legal Advice

A parent coordinator shall not give legal advice. He or she may share basic knowledge of legal issues related to divorce such a legal terminology and the separation process. However, a coordinator must encourage parents to consult with their attorney at any point in the process as needed.

Standard XVI. Dual Roles

A parent coordinator shall not perform more than one role with the family prior to or after offering services of parenting coordination. He or she shall not provide psychological testing or enter into a therapeutic relationship with either parent after providing the services of parenting coordination. However, periodic sessions with the child(ren) or coaching sessions with the parents shall not be considered therapeutic but rather a part of the parenting coordination process.

Standard XVII. Documentation

A parent coordinator shall keep detailed session and telephone notes for an indefinite period of time. If the case is transferred to a new coordinator a complete copy of the file shall remain with the previous coordinator,

Standard XVIII. Financial Matters

A parent coordinator may assist the parents in the resolution of all parenting matters. Major financial issues such as child support, assets, liabilities, and taxes shall be resolved in standard mediation, between attorneys, or by the court. However, a parent coordinator may address finances as they apply to parenting expenses such as, but not limited to, reimbursement of medical co-payments, fees associated with extracurricular activities, and the purchase of school supplies.

Standard XIX. Testimony

A parent coordinator required to testify shall do so on behalf of the child(ren) rather than for either parent or attorney.

A parent coordinator shall not offer recommendations for physical or legal custody. However, if asked to report back to court in the form of memo or testimony, a coordinator may reflect upon each parent's strengths and weakness, including observations regarding the effectiveness of the time-sharing plan.

Standard XX. Fees

The fees associated with the services of a parent coordinator shall be set as reasonable as possible with a sliding scale. The joint charge shall not be set higher than the therapist's standard hourly charge. A parent coordinator's hourly fee may be reduced as needed to assist low-income families. However, fees shall not be increased based upon the parents' ability to pay. Since parenting coordination is not therapy, no third-party reimbursement shall be used.

Standard XXI. Professional Education

A parent coordinator shall have the education and training necessary to provide ethical and professional services to high-conflict families. Professional education shall include (1) adult psychopathology, (2) child development, (3) children's issues of divorce, (4) divorce recovery, (5) basic legal terminology and the legal process of divorce, (6) family systems theory, (7) domestic violence, and (8) mediation and conflict resolution training. In addition, the parent coordinator shall remain up-to-date on divorce issues and professional training requirements as determined by the jurisdiction in which he or she is providing services.

A parent coordinator shall participate in continuing education and be personally responsible for ongoing professional growth. A parent coordinator shall consult with other professionals when necessary, such as a family law attorney, child therapist, physician, and with at least one established parent coordinator. The parent coordinator shall not give information or advice in areas in which he or she is not qualified by training or experience.

Back to Top of Page

Endorsements

Comments from Children

"I can't believe how much better I feel since my parents have started coming to see you."

Ten year old boy

"I like how my parents can talk to each other. They even came to school to see me at lunch together! My friends didn't believe they were divorced!"

Seven year old girl

"I never thought the fighting would stop, they almost like each other now. My dad and mom can both take me out to eat with my step parents and we all have a really fun time."

Eleven year old girl

"My daddy says you are here to help my parents to get along. Can you really do that? I wish you had come sooner! They both act like children. Are you kinda like a principal?"

Five year old girl prior to her parent's participation

Comments from Parents

"I was really suspicious about how this program was going to make a difference since we have been divorced for six years and have been fighting the whole time. Now I am thrilled with the improvements I've seen in the kids and how me and my co-parent are able to discuss the kids without getting into the old crap!"

"My attorney said if you could improve our situation it would be a miracle because nothing else has helped and we have been filing contempt charges with each other for years. I guess miracles can happen. I tell everyone about cooperative parenting and what it can do!"

"Since we participated in the Cooperative Parenting program while we were in a custody dispute I feared that the parent coordinator would try to enforce their opinion. Instead they were so committed to our making our own decisions and to our developing an effective parenting plan that we ended up not having to return to court. Instead we ended up finding a way to make a joint physical/legal arrangement work with our two kids. I would have never believed it was possible to resolve issues with my co-parent outside of court. More importantly, we can now work together for the children."

Back to Top of Page

Training

The Cooperative Parenting Institute model of Parenting Coordination training is an intensive training designed to provide professionals with the knowledge and skills necessary to establish a unique service for pre- and post-divorce families.

Back to Top of Page

Read Parenting Coordination Articles