|
Dear Parent,
Below you will find a free copy of the Divorce Rules for you to use with your
child. We suggest that you read them out loud to your child or children and
tell them that you will do all that you can to abide by the rules. Make a
copy of the rules and post them on your refrigerator and ask your child for
feedback if you forget one of the rules. Be sure that you thank them for their
help rather than become upset with their feedback to you.
DIVORCE RULES
Dear Mom and Dad, I'm just a kid, so please ...
- Do not talk badly about
my other parent. This makes me feel torn apart! It also makes me feel
bad about myself!
- Do not talk badly about
my other parent's friends or relatives. Let me care for someone even if
you don't.
- Do not talk about the
"divorce" or other grown up stuff. This makes me feel sick. Please leave
me out of it!
- Do not talk about child support. This makes me feel guilty or like I'm a possession instead
of your kid.
- Do not make me feel
bad when I enjoy my time with my other parent. This makes me afraid to
tell you things.
- Do not block my visits
or prevent me from speaking to my other parent on the phone. This makes
me very upset.
- Do not interrupt my
time with my parent by calling too much or by planning activities during
our time together.
- Do not argue in front
of me or on the phone when I can hear you! This just turns my stomach inside
out!
- Do not ask me to spy
for you when I am at my other parent's home. This makes me feel disloyal
and dishonest!
- Do not ask me to keep
secrets from my other parent. Secrets make me feel anxious!
- Do not ask me questions
about my other parent's life or about our time together. This makes me
uncomfortable. So just let me tell you.
- Do not give me verbal
messages to deliver to my other parent. I end up feeling real anxious about
their reaction. So please just call them, leave them a message at work or
put a note into the mail.
- Do not send written
messages with me or place them into my bag. This also makes me uncomfortable.
- Do not blame my other
parent for the divorce or for things that go wrong in your life. This really
feels terrible! I end up wanting to defend them from your attack. Sometimes
it makes me feel sorry for you and that makes me want to protect you. I
just want to be a kid, so please, please..... stop putting me into the middle!
- Do let me take items
to my other home as long as I can carry them back and forth. Otherwise
it feels like you are treating me like a possession.
- Do realize that I have
two homes not just one. It doesn't matter how much time I spend there.
- Do not treat me like
an adult, it causes way too much stress for me. Please find a friend or
therapist to talk with.
- Do not ignore my other
parent or sit on opposite sides of the room during my school or sports activities.
This makes me very sad. Please act like parents and be friendly, even if
it is just for me.
- Do not use guilt to
pressure me to love you more. This makes me feel torn in half
- Do let me love both
of you and see each of you as much as possible! Be flexible even when it
is not part of our regular schedule.
Thanks, your loving child
CP-9 Copyright 1995 Boyan & Termini, Cooperative Parenting and Divorce
Return to the Parent Guide
Chapter Summary
Back to Top of Page |
